


If Koujaku was gay

by Heiipi



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternative Universe - Big Brother, Crack, Crack treated seriously in the last chapter, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 02:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2905913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heiipi/pseuds/Heiipi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After two months inside the Big Brother’s house Koujaku cannot understand why his fellow contestants think he is involved in a romantic relationship with Aoba. After all, Koujaku is the first one to admit that he is <i>not</i> (but <i>if</i> he was, Aoba would be his man for sure)!</p>
<p>AKA the adventures of no-homojaku going full homo on Aoba</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big Brother is watching you

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was mainly based on **[this hilarious video](http://heiipi.tumblr.com/post/103213596001/neongenesisevangaylion-if-i-was-gay-and)**.  
>  And also influenced by **[this well-known Avenue Q song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuR5YMyfeNI)**
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and laugh a little, since this is the purpose of this silly fanfiction!

Reality shows were dumb. And only three types of people would enroll in such degrading show: dumb people, people who wanted to prove that reality shows weren’t just for dumb people (which, in the end, made them equality dumb) and Koujaku. From these sets of people Koujaku was, perhaps, the dumbest of them all, since he applied for _Big Brother_ after a drunk bet.

Koujaku was in house for two months now, and he was actually _enjoying_ his time there! Of course that when you are isolated from the outside world and forced to coexist with all kinds of people things can get tense after a while, drama is prone to happen and the most meaningless topic can trigger a major fight. Despite this, it was amazing to live in such a cool house, where you only had to do effortless tasks, and, in the end, you could even take home a crazy amount of easy money. All in all, Koujaku was having fun!

Koujaku found the other _Big Brother_ ’s participants fairly tolerable, except for Noiz. He just couldn’t stand that brat! The blond was unreliable, rude and had always a snarky arrogate stare in his eyes.

 

*

**CONFESSION ROOM**

 

**Koujaku (about Noiz)**

_That face annoys me_ so fucking much _that all I can think about is hitting him with a frying pan dead in his face!_ (Lies back on the couch) _But I’m better than that – I am an adult. Either way, Noiz is such a freak he would probability like it. Sometimes I wonder if that walking Swiss cheese feels anything_ at all _!_

 

**Noiz (about Koujaku)**

(Shrugs shoulders)  _He’s an old fart, and I’ve always been told not to mock people that can’t even wipe their own sorry ass._

*

 

Luckily, there was someone that made pleasant every single one of Koujaku’s days in that house. Koujaku had entered the house alongside Aoba, and it was clear that something had sparkled between them. They were the same age, so they got along very well. Aoba was friendly, approachable, reliable, kind, honest, beautiful, very hot… He was really a great guy, the best person Koujaku had inside that house. They shared the bed and everything that was sharable in the house, and were always glued. Their friendship was so intense that they both felt like they had known each other for ages!

 

*

**CONFESSION ROOM**

 

**Aoba (about Koujaku)**

_He’s always there for me – to help me, to cheer me up, to support me, to have fun with me, to protect me -, and I really appreciate that. Koujaku is a great friend, and I’d be lost inside this house without him,_ really _!_

 

**Koujaku (about Aoba and their friendship)**

_I am_ not _gay, but the bond that Aoba and I have it’s_ so _genuine and sincere that I_ truly feel _like he’s my boyfriend!_

 

**Mink (about Koujaku and his friendship with Aoba)**

_Koujaku is so sweet with Aoba it actually makes me sick, so I try to avoid them as much as I can, which is almost impossible when you’re all locked up here together. Honest to God, sometimes I feel like chopping somebody’s head off!_

*


	2. Video Diary #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything sounds platonic when you add “dude” or “man” in the end of a sentence, right? Like “I can’t live without you, dude”, or “I love you, man”, but you ain’t fooling anyone, bro!

Koujaku lied on bed next to Aoba, who was suspiciously looking towards the kitchen.

‘What’s up, dude?’, Koujaku wondered, following his friend’s stare. In the kitchen, Clear, in speedos and only dressed with an apron, was cooking something.

‘I have this terrible headache, and Clear said he would sing to me until I fell asleep.’

‘What?!’, Koujaku exclaimed tensely. ‘Just tell that white-headed freak to leave you alone! I don’t want him near you! I don’t trust Clear, he gives me the creeps!’

‘Calm down, Koujaku’, said Aoba, smiling fondly at his friend. ‘I told him there was no such need, that I’d be fine after I ate something.’

‘ _Oh my God_!’, shouted Koujaku, furiously convulsing on the bed. ‘Is that why he is cooking?!’

‘Yeah… I mean, he just said “Yes, Master! I will cook you something, if you please. Master is my Master!”, and dashed to the kitchen.’

‘He keeps on calling you “Master”?’, Koujaku inquired, squeezing his knuckles. ‘And why is he almost _naked_?!’

‘I think he’s on a mission, or something.’ Uneasily, Aoba lied on his belly and continued glaring at Clear. ‘I mean, it as to be it, right? There’s no way some’s _that_ eccentric!’

Koujaku pondered Aoba’s words for a while, giving Clear his most threatening look. In the kitchen, the white-haired man, oblivious, happily carried on singing while scrambling the eggs.

‘I’m not even sure he is from this world’, Koujaku joked. He wouldn’t dare to admit that Clear and his polite manners scared him more than he could tell. Clear was cheerful, corky and to some extent insecure, and the public loved that; as a player he was a treat, and as a person… _He could snatch Aoba from me_ , Koujaku realized, and this possibility really made him sick to his stomach! ‘I’d be careful if I were you, Aoba’, he whispered into his friend’s ear. ‘Maybe Clear has a strange obsession with you.’

‘An obsession with _me_?’, the blue haired man cried dismissively, skeptically looking to his friend. Aoba was kind and oblivious, and Koujaku loved that; now, the problem was when others tried to take advantage of his friend’s sweetness. ‘C’mon, there’s no way som-’

‘You know, if I was gay, dude, I’d be _obsessed_ with you’, Koujaku revealed with easiness, trying to make his point. ‘I mean - I am, but that’s fine because it’s _me_ , right?’ Without a blink of an eye, Aoba nodded positively. ‘I’m your friend, so we’re cool. _But Clear_? I wouldn’t trust him if I were you, you hear me, Aoba? He’s up to something! Clear is like a robot in _Big Brother_ ’s hands’, Koujaku murmured as Clear entered the room with a plate in his hands.

‘Master! I made you scrambled eggs!’, he announced joyfully.

‘Just fuck off, you robot!’, Koujaku yelled from the bed, throwing the other contestant a pillow.


	3. Video Diary #2

After lunch, Koujaku was cuddling with Aoba on the couch, holding him tight in his arms.

‘Who will be ejected on Sunday? Mink or Mizuki?’, Aoba wondered. ‘Do you have any idea?’

Koujaku shrugged his shoulders and idly looked out the big window in the living room. Frankly, he couldn’t care less! It would be great if both of them could leave. As long as he could remain by Aoba’s side, then all would be okay. Nevertheless, he answered just to please his friend.

‘Mink, I guess. You know he’s not your everyday friendly person. But Mizuki… sometimes I feel he’s not part of the game, like he doesn’t have a purpose, an objective, a route, you know what I mean?’

‘Yeah, but Mizuki is a nice person’, Aoba sadly remarked. ‘It sucks that someone has to leave.’

‘That’s the game, Aoba.’ Koujaku kissed his friend’s hair, making him writhe in his embrace. ‘And as long as we remain together I’m fine.’

The blue haired man smiled happily, and with his hand he reached out to Koujaku’s face, caressing his friend’s skin.

‘They won’t tear us apart’, Aoba promised.

As Koujaku, grinning blissfully, was about to retort something, their moment was shattered by a violent and sickened cough. With an angrily frowned eyebrow, Mink entered the room.

‘Koujaku, could you unglue yourself from Aoba for a second and do the dishes?’, Mink asked, remaining calm as usual.

‘Koujaku only does Aoba’, Noiz joked from the outside with his obnoxious laugh.

‘Shut up!’, Koujaku shouted back, starring at the blond brat through the window with a murderous look. ‘Both of you.’

‘It’s your turn to clean the kitchen’, Mink insisted, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

‘Says who?’, Koujaku enquired with a taunting look. ‘Besides, I’ve cleaned it two days ago!’

‘You certainly did, but only because you are behind your cleaning schedule. You haven’t clean a thing in his house for _two_ weeks!’

‘Are you the boss? Did someone put you in charge of anything?’

‘No’, Mink was forced to admit. ‘But--’

‘”But” what?! You’ve made a cleaning schedule, is that so? To hell with it, I didn’t sign my name under it, now did I? I do what I want inside this house, and I don’t have to answer to anyone besides Big Brother, so just get the fuck out of my hair!’ Annoyed, Koujaku rose from the couch and grabbed Aoba by the wrist. ‘Let’s go Aoba, let’s go to our bed.’

With a threatening aura, Mink stood in Koujaku’s way, harshly looking down at him.

‘You’re not going anywhere.’

Koujaku let out a dismissive chuckle.

‘Watch me!’, he dared pushing the other contestant aside  and dragging Aoba behind him.

‘Wait.’ With a firm hand, Mink squeezed Aoba’s arm.

‘ _Let him go_!’, Koujaku immediately groaned with an intense glare and clenched teeth.

‘Aoba, can’t you shove some responsibility in your… friend’s stubborn head?’, Mink asked.

‘I-I’ll try’, Aoba promised reluctantly, avoiding meeting Mink’s eyes.

‘Mink, unhand Aoba _now_ ’, Koujaku demanded.

‘Sure’, he said with ease, releasing Aoba’s arm. After all, he was not one to dramatize over trivial situations, and Koujaku was aware of that. ‘Go, and carry on doing whatever you were doing’, he added with a disgusted countenance.

And under Mink’s stiff look, while outside Noiz laughed and had been enjoying the show, Koujaku and Aoba left the living room.

 

With a towel wrapped around his waist, Koujaku paced back and forth in the bedroom.

‘Koujaku, _calm down_ ’, Aoba said, giving his friend an attentive look. ‘C’mon, sit over here’, he suggested, patting the empty space in the mattress in which he sat on.

‘I _can’t_! I’m just so sick of putting up with these people!’

‘Well…’, Aoba hesitated. ‘You _did_ have to wash the dishes, but Mink when a little overboard with you.’

‘It’s not that, Aoba. It’s much more than that! Did you see the way Mink looked at us? As if we were the shame and sin of this house?’

‘Aren’t you overreacting a little, Koujaku?’

‘Maybe I am, but I’m also sick of putting up with their games and whispers. It fucking kills me, man! They’re all so fake and shallow! Up until now everything was fine, but I’m really not enjoying these last days here.’

‘You mean the things they say about us? About our friendship?’, Aoba wondered, narrowing his eyes and fidgeting with his socks. ‘They think we’re gay, right?’, he finally brought up the question with a skeptic sigh.

‘Damn right they do! It drives me nuts when people make assumptions like that. Look, if I was gay’, Koujaku whispered, ‘I’d be on my knees sucking your dick _right now_. But I’m not on my knees, you know why?’

‘Because… we’re not gay’, Aoba said, although it sounded more like a question.

‘Damn right!’, Koujaku exclaimed a little more relaxed.

 

*

**CONFESSION ROOM**

 

**Koujaku (about Aoba and their friendship and the rumors about them)**

_I am_ not _gay, but_ if I was _he’d be my man for sure!_ (Takes a deep breath and gives the confession camera a serious look)

 _See? I don’t have any kind of problem with my sexuality, so if I was gay I’d be the first one to admit it and I’d be totally okay with it. But I’m not gay, so it_ really _drives me mad when those fuckers go around saying all those lies. I’ve had enough, so I hope no one gives me or Aoba another nasty look, and for their sake they better shut up about this business._

**Virus and Trip (about Koujaku and Aoba)**

_They’re totally screwing!_

*


	4. Video Diary #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was walking down the street with a friend and we saw two dumpsters that looked alike and she said it was Virus and Trip… yeah, they’re trash… sorry…

They had a dog! Big Brother had decided that the atmosphere was tense so they had been given a dog to lighten the mood. All the contestants found it – or he, since it was a male, and now an inhabitant of the house – cute, but no one was responsible or patient enough to look after him. Incidentally, the dog ended up under Aoba’s care, and the two of them got along rather nicely.

‘It’s like watching Aoba and Koujaku fall in love all over again’, Virus remarked quietly.

‘Only this time with an animal’, Trip continued in the same tone.

‘With an animal…’, repeated the other, suggestively raising an eyebrow. ‘This should be interesting.

‘Indeed.’

‘What are you two even talking about?’, Koujaku wondered, butting in their conversation.

The other two contestants exchanged a cocky look and began in unisonant:

‘Well...’

‘Wait!’, Koujaku interrupted. ‘I just realized I really don’t what to know. Something tells me that knowing will be even more disturbing than any possible scenario I can imagine.’

Virus gave Koujaku an arrogant smile while Trip agreed:

‘Yes, perhaps is better if you remain ignorant.’

Annoyed, Koujaku frowned his eyebrows.

‘Don’t act so confident, you hear me? You’re trash, and nobody likes you inside or outside this house.’

‘And yet two months have passed...’, Trip pointed out.

‘… and here we are’, the other concluded.

‘You were just lucky you were granted immunity this week, but you won’t be so lucky next time. Trust me, you two will be ejected in the first change we get.’

Trip laid back on the garden chair with a huge smirk, as if he was enjoying the threat.

‘We’ll see about that’, said Virus, giving Koujaku an equally upsetting smile.

Koujaku was about to tell those freaks to piss off when a loud bark interrupted his words. It was that dammed dog that entered the patio, running up to them with his pink tongue hanging from the side. _Stupid dog_ , Koujaku grunted to himself, kicking the grass.

‘Aren’t we a cute dog’, Trip observed, seeming all friendly. The dog, however, kept his distance from those two, sitting on his bun and staring at them with a tilted head.

‘Come here, lil’ one’, Virus called, spreading his arms. Still, the dog didn’t move.

‘See? Dogs aren’t stupid. Even he knows that you shouldn’t be trusted’, Koujaku said with a snorted laugh, while the dog howled. ‘I’m guessing he agrees!’

‘Our maybe that was him disagreeing’, Virus retorted.

‘I didn’t know you spoke dog’, the other pointed out as the dog howled once more, this time longer and louder.

‘Ren is just upset’, said a third voice. Looking back, the contestants found Aoba attentively looking at the dog. ‘He doesn’t like when people raise their voices, it disturbs him. And you should be disturbed as well and stop fighting all the time.’

‘You named the dog?’, Koujaku asked.

‘Of course, don’t sound so surprised, Koujaku. Dogs need a name, just like people.’ Aoba got down on one knee and called the dog, which immediately ran towards him.

‘Interesting name. Why “Ren”?’, Virus wanted to know.

‘I don’t know. It just crossed my mind and I thought it was the right one.’ With a smile, Aoba pet the dog’s dark hair. ‘And he seems to like it, don’t you Ren?’ As if he had understood, Ren let out a loud happy bark, effusively wiggling his tail while Aoba gave him his full attention.

‘He’s so noisy!’, Koujaku complained. ‘I won’t be able to sleep this night if he keeps scratching at our door. Can’t you make him stop?’

‘He’s not a robot, Koujaku’, Aoba snapped, taking the dog in his arms. ‘I can’t just turn it off, you know?’

‘Oh, trouble in paradise’, Trip joked, giving Virus a pleased smile.

‘Just shut up, you blond double freaks!’, Koujaku bellowed, heading back inside, followed by a concerned Aoba, still clinging unto Ren.

Really, was the dog meant to entertain them? Because the dammed animal was making him even more irascible! It annoyed him the amount of time Aoba would now spend with the dog, cuddling and playing with Ren.

‘Are you okay?’, Aoba wanted to know, taking ahold of Koujaku’s sleeve.

‘Yes.’ Koujaku shrugged off his friend’s hand. ‘Just leave me alone for now.’

Persistent, Aoba placed Ren on a chair and continued following the other contestant around. Grabbing his hand he firmly insisted:

‘ _Are you okay, Koujaku_?’

‘Dude, I don’t want to talk about this right now.’ There was no way he would admit that the time that Aoba was devoting to the dog upset him. He would never admit he was jealous of an animal, it was ridiculous, right? On the other hand… Aoba seemed so sweet and happy with the dog, always laughing and having fun. Even now when he was a little mad at his friend Koujaku couldn’t help but to admire how lovely Aoba was with everyone, and it warmed his heart. He truly was an amazing person.

‘Please, Koujaku, don’t shut me off’, Aoba begged, taking his hand and driving it to his tender lips, kissing it gently and briefly.

Caught off guard, blushing slightly, Koujaku looked away for some moments, only to find Aoba’s beautiful golden eyes staring back at him when he finally had the courage to face him again. Mumbling, still hand in hand with Aoba, Koujaku murmured:

‘I’m not shutting you off, for real. I won’t ever do that, you’re everything I have in this house, man.’ With a lovely smile, Koujaku hugged Aoba, letting his head rest on his shoulder. ‘I need you, Aoba. I won’t ever let you go. You’re the only one that understands me. I can’t count on no one else but you.’

‘You know that I’m always here for you, right? To listen to you and to support you.’

Koujaku laughed happily and kissed his friend’s forehead.

‘Yeah, I know. For example, if I ever question my sexuality, you’d be the first person I would explain it to.’

‘Thank you’, Aoba smiled, his voice muffled by Koujaku’s shirt. ‘Sounds good to me.’


	5. Video Diary #4

**CONFESSION ROOM**

 

**Noiz**

_Big Brother gave me this secret mission in which I have to annoy the fuck out of Koujaku. It’s not a mission, really, it’s a pleasure and a normal day for me. I think I’ll sing for him. And I have just the perfect song in mind._

**Koujaku**

_My challenge – according to Big Brother – is to “ignore the obvious”. So, today I’ll have to ignore Noiz’s obviously ugly face. Well, that’s a tough task, but if I succeed everyone will be happy and Noiz will be miserable, and that alone is enough to motivate me._

*

 

As usual, Koujaku had gotten up early and was running around the swimming pool, doing his morning exercise. He had been running for three minutes when he spotted Noiz in suspicious sports clothes. Was he planning to run with him?! Nonsenses, the prick was a lazy ass, if he was joining his morning run he meant to disturb him. And Koujaku just had to ignore him. _Bring it on_ , Koujaku cheered for himself.

‘Morning’, the blond greeted, started to run alongside Koujaku. ‘What a great day for a jog’, he noticed, but Koujaku remained silent as the grave.

Another silent minute pass until Noiz started humming a melody, which grew more hateful by the second, along with Noiz’s presence. Clenching his teeth, Koujaku checked his watch. Normally he would run for fifteen minutes, and he couldn’t change this routine because of Noiz’s irritating presence, especially today. Thus, he inhaled deeply and tried to forget Noiz and his humming… and he seemed to be succeeding when the asshole, out of the blue, began singing:

‘ _If you were gay… that’d be okay. I mean ‘cause hey, I’d like you anyway._ ’ Koujaku let out a small grunt as tried to keep his cool. ‘ _Because you see, if it were me… I would feel free to say that I was gay, but I’m not gay. If you were queer I’d still be here year after year because you’re dear to me_.’ No! He wasn’t dear to Noiz! Nor was Noiz dear to him! He would only like Noiz if he could spank him, and that was what Koujaku was doing in his mind. ‘ _And I know that you… would accept me too if I told you today “hey, guess what? I’m gay!” But I’m not gay. I’m happy just being with you. So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys? If you were gay, I’d shout HOORAY!, and here I’d stay, but I wouldn’t get in your away. You can count on me… to always be… beside you every day, to tell it’s okay, you were just born that way, and as they said, it’s in your DNA, you’re gay!’_

‘I AM _NOT_ GAY!’, Koujaku shouted, totally out of control, pushing Noiz to the swimming pool.

Breathless and seeing red, Koujaku, on the edge of the pool, prayed for Noiz’s drowning, but the blond wouldn’t give him such pleasure. He quickly emerged to the surface, swimming with ease and laughing like the deranged punk he was.

‘But you know, Koujaku, if you _were_ gay…’

Koujaku let out another furious grunt and he was about to jump on top of Noiz to drown him with his bare hands, but he was firmly caught by Mizuki and Clear, who dragged him away from the pool and Noiz’s hysterical laughs.

 

*

**CONFESSION ROOM**

 

**Noiz**

_I’d say the mission was a success._

**Koujaku**

_I will fucking kill him!_

*

 

 

Not only was Koujaku’s mission a failure, but he also had to be isolated. He was so unstable that Big Brother feared he would pick a fight with literally everyone.

When Aoba heard about Koujaku’s fall out with Noiz he feared his friend would be expelled from the house, since Big Brother could take Koujaku’s action as an aggression towards other contestant. Luckily, since they were both in a secret mission the outcome wasn’t that serious, so Koujaku was only sent to an isolated bedroom for a night.

Alone, in that cold suffocating bedroom, Koujaku felt miserable. Ever since the very first day he was used to sleep right next to Aoba, to chat with him until they fell asleep and to hold him every time one of them was cold. Now, alone, everything he loved and took for granted seemed too far away. If only he enjoyed his time with Aoba more, if only he had been more calm and composed… he should had listened to his friend, he should had followed his advice, but he didn’t, and now they were separated and cold, unable to sleep, caught in a stupid game meant to break them, while the people outside enjoyed the show. That was sick, man!


	6. Video Diary #5

‘This game is sick, man!’, insisted Koujaku, who had shared with Aoba every single thought he had during the night he spent alone, which, scary enough, were the exact same ones that occurred to Aoba, who also spent a sleepless agonizing night. Luckily, one day had passed, and now they were able to sleep together again, like always. ‘It pushes us to our limit, it makes people irascible. For money were are lead to do thing we usually wouldn’t even think of… it’s really scary and twisted the way this works, how we’re selling ourselves over such a wicked game.’

‘You’re absolutely right, Koujaku, but we knew what we were getting ourselves in’, Aoba sadly murmured, covering his waist with the bed sheets. ‘Haven’t you seen other editions?’

‘No, I’ve always disliked shows like this. And I was kinda drunk when I filled out the form, and when I was later called for casting it seemed like easy money, so…’

‘Yeah, I get it. It was the money that allured me…’

‘I’m just waiting for this to be over! I’m sick of this shit, I’m sick of them… Fuck this shit, man! Fuck Big Brother!’

Aoba immediately covered Koujaku’s mouth with his hand.

‘ _Shh!_ , don’t speak like that! Big Brother might hear you’, Aoba whispered, looking around the bedroom to make sure all the others were still asleep.

Koujaku took Aoba’s hand in his own, removed it from his mouth and tangled their fingers.

‘He heard me, all right! It’s his freaking motto: _Big Brother is watching you_ , even when you sleep, even when you take a dump. That’s what makes this shit even sicker!’

‘Do you regret it?’, Aoba mumbled, laying on his belly.

‘What?’

‘Do you regret participating in the show?’, he repeated, avoiding Koujaku’s eyes that seemed to sparkle among the darkness.

‘I’d be lying if I said I regret it. Because I don’t, I really don’t regret it. Although I’m always losing my temper, although I’m always getting in arguments, although I always have this grumpy attitude… I really don’t regret being in here. How could I ever regret it, Aoba, if I’ve met you here? How could I hate this place that brought us together, dude?’

‘Good’, Aoba whispered. ‘Because I don’t regret it either. And I certainly don’t hate it, quite the opposite.’

‘I know. I love you too. I mean, I love _it_ , this place, the house, you… I mean… _Fuck_!’ Uneasy, heart beating fast, Koujaku rolled in-between the sheets. ‘Dude, I’m not gay, right?!’

 

*

**CONFESSION ROOM**

 

**Koujaku**

(Running his hands through his hair) _I_ might _have a problem. Like, a huge problem, really big!_ (Whispering) _I might be a_ little _– just a little – gay for Aoba._

*


	7. Video Diary #6

Sunday night was ejection night, and all the contestants were nervously gathering up in the living room. Well, almost all of them.

‘Where are Koujaku and Aoba?’, Mizuki wondered, peeping over to the garden.

‘I think I saw Master enter the Confession Room’, Clear informed ever so joyfully. ‘But I have no idea where Koujaku is.’

‘Perhaps he was already there’, Virus ventured.

‘Yeah, there together’, Trip repeated sharing Virus’ lewd look. ‘Alone.’

‘Now you’re just guessing!’, Mizuki said.

‘Just leave it alone, you guys’, Mink suggested, sitting on the couch. ‘Sometimes it’s better not knowing, trust me.’

‘Look at you, sitting there oh so relaxed’, Virus mocked.

‘Dropping you last wise words before going away’, Trip continued. ‘Your permanent scary frowned face will surely not be missed.’

‘True, true’, Virus nodded.

‘There they are!’, Noiz pointed, carelessly sitting in the other end of the couch. ‘Big Brother’s homo-Brangelina!’

‘What’s wrong, Master?’, Clear immediately inquired. ‘Why the serious look?’

‘That’s because we have taken a serious decision’, Koujaku spoke very calmly, holding Aoba’s hand for everyone to see.

‘Oh, they’re holding hands’, Virus stated, rolling his eyes.

‘Aren’t we trying to win over audience with our gay love, now are we?’, Trip questioned.

‘Shut up you two’, Mink demanded, feeling uncomfortable. ‘What’s the point of all this?’, he wondered with a dismissive gesture. ‘Why are you putting such a despicable show? Haven’t you got no shame? No pride? No self-love?’

‘We are _not_ putting on a show’, Aoba declared, squeezing Koujaku’s hand to give him strength. ‘Not anymore.’

‘We are leaving’, Koujaku announced. ‘We are leaving this show today, right now.’

A global and surprised “what?” ran through everyone’s mouths. Even Ren barked, expectantly looking at his favorite person in the house.

‘That’s what you’ve heard’, Aoba continued. ‘We _do_ have a sense of shame, Mink, a sense of pride, self-love and self-respect, and that’s exactly why we are leaving Big Brother.’

‘We won’t put on a despicable show, not anymore. Aoba and I refuse to be observed as cadged animals in a zoo. Here we are selling who we are for what? A couple hundreds of bucks? Is that really worth it? Do we really want to be like that? To have our life exposed to those vultures out there? To give them the drama they want, the show they want, so that they can forget how pathetic their life is? I’m sorry, but we just can’t take it anymore.’

‘Koujaku and I love each other. This house gave us that, this opportunity of happiness, and we are going to take it and flee with it before they turn our love into a new drama, into another mission meant to set us apart. We won’t be manipulated like that, not again. So thank you for the experience, but we’re leaving.’

And after their last goodbye they truly left, walking towards the exit door hand in hand, closing it behind them without even looking back one last time.

In the living room, the last contestants were left confused and wondering if that was some secret mission that had been entitled to Aoba and Koujaku by Big Brother. But the mysterious voice denied it all, the minutes passed and they were left in an awkward silence only disturbed by Ren’s sobs.

‘So…’, Clear broke the silence a couple of minutes before they went live on national TV. ‘After all Koujaku _was_ gay!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... sorry, it got a little serious at the end, but I’m not fond of these type of reality shows... Either way, I hope you enjoyed it :D


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